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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Hollywood
Humor
Mistake
Stars
Funny
Place
People
Iowa
More quotes by Fred Allen
The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
Fred Allen
On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
Fred Allen
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
Fred Allen
A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
Fred Allen
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
Fred Allen
Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
Fred Allen
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
Fred Allen
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Fred Allen
Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
Fred Allen
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
Fred Allen
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
Fred Allen
Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
Fred Allen
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
Fred Allen
When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
Fred Allen
English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
Fred Allen
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
Fred Allen
I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
Fred Allen
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
Fred Allen
In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
Fred Allen
With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
Fred Allen