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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Hollywood
Humor
Mistake
Stars
Funny
Place
People
Iowa
More quotes by Fred Allen
A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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