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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Iowa
Hollywood
Humor
Mistake
Stars
Funny
Place
People

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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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