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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Place
Fruit
Stills
Hollywood
Still
Room
Take
Humor
Navel
Enough
Rooms
Producer
Heart
Movie
Sincerity
Funny
Producers
Three
Seeds
More quotes by Fred Allen
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
Fred Allen
Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
Fred Allen
It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Fred Allen
On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
Fred Allen
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
Fred Allen
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
Fred Allen
Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
Fred Allen
Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
Fred Allen
Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
Fred Allen
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
Fred Allen
The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
Fred Allen
I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
Fred Allen
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
Fred Allen
In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
Fred Allen
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
Fred Allen
All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
Fred Allen
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
Fred Allen
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Fred Allen
Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
Fred Allen
The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen