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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Still
Room
Take
Humor
Navel
Enough
Rooms
Producer
Heart
Movie
Sincerity
Funny
Producers
Three
Seeds
Place
Fruit
Stills
Hollywood

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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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