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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Stills
Hollywood
Still
Room
Humor
Navel
Take
Rooms
Producer
Enough
Movie
Sincerity
Heart
Funny
Producers
Three
Seeds
Place
Fruit

More quotes by Fred Allen

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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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