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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Three
Seeds
Place
Fruit
Stills
Hollywood
Still
Room
Take
Humor
Navel
Enough
Rooms
Producer
Heart
Movie
Sincerity
Funny
Producers

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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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