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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Machine
Machines
Humor
Television
Comedy
Funny
People
Triumph
More quotes by Fred Allen
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
Fred Allen
The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
Fred Allen
With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
Fred Allen
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
Fred Allen
A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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