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Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Funny
People
Triumph
Machine
Machines
Humor
Television
Comedy

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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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