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Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Comedy
Funny
People
Triumph
Machine
Machines
Humor
Television

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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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