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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Church
Pray
Religion
Six
Funny
Praying
Oats
Firsts
Failure
Sowing
First
Spend
Crop
Humor
Crops
Week
Sunday
Days
Wild
More quotes by Fred Allen
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
Fred Allen
A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
