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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Religion
Six
Funny
Praying
Oats
Firsts
Failure
Sowing
First
Spend
Crop
Humor
Crops
Week
Sunday
Days
Wild
Church
Pray

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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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