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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Wells
Medium
Well
Mediums
Done
Rare
Humor
Television
Technology
Funny
Anything

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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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