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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Anything
Wells
Medium
Well
Mediums
Done
Rare
Humor
Television
Technology
Funny

More quotes by Fred Allen

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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
Fred Allen
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Fred Allen
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
Fred Allen
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
Fred Allen
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
Fred Allen
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
Fred Allen
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
Fred Allen
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
Fred Allen
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Fred Allen
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
Fred Allen
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
Fred Allen
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
Fred Allen
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
Fred Allen
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
Fred Allen
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
Fred Allen