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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Groups
Humor
Unprepared
Funny
Appointed
Work
Committee
Unwilling
Committees
Unnecessary
Group

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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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