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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Allow
Inspirational
Mind
Overstatement
Sarcasm
Sarcastic

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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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