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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Sarcastic
Allow
Inspirational
Mind
Overstatement
Sarcasm

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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
Fred Allen