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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Agency
Confusion
Advertising
Percent
Comedy
Business
Adverts
Commission
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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