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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Comedy
Business
Adverts
Commission
Agency
Confusion
Advertising
Percent

More quotes by Fred Allen

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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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