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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
First
Clever
Time
Hundred
People
Changed
Church
Religion
Funny
Two
Choir
Firsts
Sang
More quotes by Fred Allen
Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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