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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
First
Clever
Time
Hundred
People
Changed
Church
Religion
Funny
Two
Choir
Firsts
Sang

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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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