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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Religion
Funny
Two
Choir
Firsts
Sang
First
Clever
Time
Hundred
People
Changed
Church

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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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