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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
People
Changed
Church
Religion
Funny
Two
Choir
Firsts
Sang
First
Clever
Time
Hundred
More quotes by Fred Allen
I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
Fred Allen
English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
Fred Allen
It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Fred Allen
Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
Fred Allen
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
Fred Allen
On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
Fred Allen
He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
Fred Allen
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Fred Allen
With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
Fred Allen
Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
Fred Allen
The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
Fred Allen
The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
Fred Allen
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
Fred Allen
Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
Fred Allen
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
Fred Allen
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
Fred Allen
There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
Fred Allen
Television is the triumph of machine over people.
Fred Allen
An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
Fred Allen
All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
Fred Allen
