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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
First
Clever
Time
Hundred
People
Changed
Church
Religion
Funny
Two
Choir
Firsts
Sang

More quotes by Fred Allen

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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
Fred Allen