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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Two
Choir
Firsts
Sang
First
Clever
Time
Hundred
People
Changed
Church
Religion
Funny

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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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