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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
First
Clever
Time
Hundred
People
Changed
Church
Religion
Funny
Two
Choir
Firsts
Sang

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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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