Quote

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

Fred Allen

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Funny
Place
Happens
Orange
Live
Stupidity
California
Laughter
Fine
Happen

More quotes by Fred Allen

Image
A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
Fred Allen
Image
The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
Fred Allen
Image
English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
Fred Allen
Image
It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Fred Allen
Image
The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
Fred Allen
Image
The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
Fred Allen
Image
A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
Fred Allen
Image
The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen
Image
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
Fred Allen
Image
Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
Fred Allen
Image
He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
Fred Allen
Image
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Fred Allen
Image
On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
Fred Allen
Image
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
Fred Allen
Image
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
Fred Allen
Image
All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
Fred Allen
Image
Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
Fred Allen
Image
A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Fred Allen
Image
I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
Fred Allen
Image
Television is the triumph of machine over people.
Fred Allen