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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Long
Likes
Annoy
Like
Anger
Strolling
People
Exercise
Sarcasm
Walking
Sarcastic
Especially
Annoying
Walks
Comedian
Taken
Humorous
Funny
Rage
Curmudgeon

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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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