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Accustomed as I am to public speaking, I know the futility of it.

Franklin P. Adams

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Franklin P. Adams
Age: 78 †
Born: 1881
Born: November 15
Died: 1960
Died: March 23
Author
Columnist
Journalist
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Franklin P. Adams
F.P.A.
Futility
Accustomed
Speaking
Public

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An extravagance is something you buy which is no earthly use to your wife.
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In the order named, these are the hardest to control - wine, women and song.
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There is no accounting for tastes, as the woman said when someone told her her son was wanted by the police.
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Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.
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Christmas is over and Business is Business.
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Nobody can write such ironic things unless he has a deep sense of injustice-injustice to those members of the race who are victims of the stupid, the pretentious and the hypocritical.
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I hate the pollyanna pest who says that all is for the best.
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Chaos breeds life, while order breeds success.
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There must be a day or two in a man's life when he is the precise age for something important.
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Every time we tell anybody to cheer up, things might be worse, we run away for fear we might be asked to specify how.
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When a man you like switches from what he said a year ago, or 4 years ago, he is a broad-minded person who has courage enough to change his mind with changing conditions. When a man you don't like does it, he is a liar who has broken his promises.
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There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
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Remember how excited you were when you turned five years old. Today, you should be 10 times that excited. Happy 50th birthday!
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The best part of the fiction in many novels is the notice that the characters are purely imaginary.
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Ninety-two percent of the stuff told you in confidence you couldn't get anyone else to listen to.
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I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.
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While the work or play is on, it is a lot of fun if while you are doing one you don't constantly feel that you ought to be doing the other.
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We deny that it is fun to be saving. It is fun to be prodigal. Go to the butterfly, thou parsimonious sluggard consider her ways and get wise.
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Prohibition is an awful flop. We like it. It can't stop what it's meant to stop. We like it. It's left a trail of graft and slime It don't prohibit worth a dime It's filled our land with vice and crime, Nevertheless, we're for it.
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If, my dear, you seek to slumber Count of stars an endless number If you will continue wakeful Count the drops that make a lakeful Then if vigilance yet above you Hover, Count the times I love you And if slumber sill repel you Count the times I do not tell you.
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