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The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?

Frankie Boyle

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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Humor
Hell
Funny
Kids
Find
Thing
Men
Dirty
Sexy

More quotes by Frankie Boyle

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Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.
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The owners of a dog which swallowed a diamond worth £12000 had to wait three days until it re-emerged. With a bit of planning it could have been a nice way to propose.
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It's good they're holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to work out which gunshot is the starting pistol.
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Does anyone actually think that Beckham knows he's in America? I think he just follows a football and all he notices is that it occasionally gets warmer.
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If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
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A 66-YEAR-OLD woman has become the oldest new mum in Britain after giving birth to a baby boy. I'm amazed she needed to have a caesarean section though, you'd think at 66 she would have needed some masking tape down there just to stop it falling out.
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Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.
Frankie Boyle
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Why is it that it's okay to call a white person mate yet it's not okay to call a black guy primate?
Frankie Boyle
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I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.
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Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.
Frankie Boyle
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Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?
Frankie Boyle
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When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's sack.
Frankie Boyle
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In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.
Frankie Boyle
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Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.
Frankie Boyle
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The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long.
Frankie Boyle
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As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.
Frankie Boyle
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I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?
Frankie Boyle
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The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.
Frankie Boyle
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It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently. I can only imagine they were told that the mission was to rescue a bearded British hostage and he must be brought out alive.
Frankie Boyle
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Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'. But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them 'Gaybos' or 'Bender Badges'.
Frankie Boyle