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The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.
Frankie Boyle
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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Everyone
Holes
Thatcher
States
Spending
Margaret
Government
Million
Scotland
Enough
Deep
Deliver
Humor
Funeral
Dies
Hole
State
Considering
Shovel
Funny
Satan
Shovels
More quotes by Frankie Boyle
Congratulations you're 18!... On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill.
Frankie Boyle
I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody.
Frankie Boyle
Bisexuals are really attracted to senior Lib Dems - as they are both a man and a great big pussy.
Frankie Boyle
It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently. I can only imagine they were told that the mission was to rescue a bearded British hostage and he must be brought out alive.
Frankie Boyle
Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That's probably how David knows that there's a World Cup coming up.
Frankie Boyle
I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.
Frankie Boyle
Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!
Frankie Boyle
Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.
Frankie Boyle
Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!
Frankie Boyle
I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.
Frankie Boyle
Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.
Frankie Boyle
I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.
Frankie Boyle
Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them!
Frankie Boyle
Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.
Frankie Boyle
Why is it that it's okay to call a white person mate yet it's not okay to call a black guy primate?
Frankie Boyle
Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.
Frankie Boyle
As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.
Frankie Boyle
My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic.
Frankie Boyle
Does anyone actually think that Beckham knows he's in America? I think he just follows a football and all he notices is that it occasionally gets warmer.
Frankie Boyle
Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'. But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them 'Gaybos' or 'Bender Badges'.
Frankie Boyle