Quote

I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?

Frankie Boyle

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Really
Footage
Think
Executed
Thinking
Watched
Internet
Humor
Funny
Nothing
Made
Masturbate

More quotes by Frankie Boyle

Image
The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long.
Frankie Boyle
Image
The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.
Frankie Boyle
Image
Congratulations you're 18!... On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill.
Frankie Boyle
Image
When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's sack.
Frankie Boyle
Image
What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!
Frankie Boyle
Image
Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.
Frankie Boyle
Image
Why is it that it's okay to call a white person mate yet it's not okay to call a black guy primate?
Frankie Boyle
Image
Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'. But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them 'Gaybos' or 'Bender Badges'.
Frankie Boyle
Image
Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them!
Frankie Boyle
Image
The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?
Frankie Boyle
Image
As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.
Frankie Boyle
Image
My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic.
Frankie Boyle
Image
Bisexuals are really attracted to senior Lib Dems - as they are both a man and a great big pussy.
Frankie Boyle
Image
It's good they're holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to work out which gunshot is the starting pistol.
Frankie Boyle
Image
I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody.
Frankie Boyle
Image
I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?
Frankie Boyle
Image
Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!
Frankie Boyle
Image
Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?
Frankie Boyle
Image
I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.
Frankie Boyle
Image
Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment's successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve, and a big sign will up come that says: Level Two.
Frankie Boyle