Quote

Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That's probably how David knows that there's a World Cup coming up.

Frankie Boyle

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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Probably
Four
Funny
Victoria
Looks
Dump
Every
David
Years
Cups
Like
Humor
World
Coming

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I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?
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The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?
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Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.
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If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
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Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!
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Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.
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Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
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RyanAir have been getting a hard time because they've launched a £7 flight to New York. Although as always with RyanAir it does land slightly outside of New York. In Dublin.
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The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long.
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Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?
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When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's sack.
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I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody.
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The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.
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I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.
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Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.
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Bisexuals are really attracted to senior Lib Dems - as they are both a man and a great big pussy.
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I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.
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Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them!
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Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.
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