Quote

The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long.

Frankie Boyle

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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Long
Average
Life
Realize
Humor
Realizing
Bits
Glasgow
Maybe
Expectancy
Funny
Parts
Ever
Rate

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As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.
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Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.
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Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.
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I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?
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Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.
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RyanAir have been getting a hard time because they've launched a £7 flight to New York. Although as always with RyanAir it does land slightly outside of New York. In Dublin.
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Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.
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Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?
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It's good they're holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to work out which gunshot is the starting pistol.
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What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!
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I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.
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In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.
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The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.
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Congratulations you're 18!... On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill.
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Bisexuals are really attracted to senior Lib Dems - as they are both a man and a great big pussy.
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When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's sack.
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