Quote

The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long.

Frankie Boyle

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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Humor
Realizing
Bits
Glasgow
Maybe
Expectancy
Funny
Parts
Ever
Rate
Long
Average
Life
Realize

More quotes by Frankie Boyle

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Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment's successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve, and a big sign will up come that says: Level Two.
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When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's sack.
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I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?
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I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody.
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Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!
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The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.
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Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.
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The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?
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Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!
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Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.
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In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.
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I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?
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Why is it that it's okay to call a white person mate yet it's not okay to call a black guy primate?
Frankie Boyle
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It's good they're holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to work out which gunshot is the starting pistol.
Frankie Boyle
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Does anyone actually think that Beckham knows he's in America? I think he just follows a football and all he notices is that it occasionally gets warmer.
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Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
Frankie Boyle
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Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That's probably how David knows that there's a World Cup coming up.
Frankie Boyle
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The owners of a dog which swallowed a diamond worth £12000 had to wait three days until it re-emerged. With a bit of planning it could have been a nice way to propose.
Frankie Boyle
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Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?
Frankie Boyle
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I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.
Frankie Boyle