Quote

In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.

Frankie Boyle

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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Events
Ceilings
Dies
Oxygen
Funny
Annoying
Mask
Cabin
Drop
Annoy
Event
Cabins
Failure
Masks
Humor
Ceiling

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Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.
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Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.
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Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment's successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve, and a big sign will up come that says: Level Two.
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Bisexuals are really attracted to senior Lib Dems - as they are both a man and a great big pussy.
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Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them!
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Does anyone actually think that Beckham knows he's in America? I think he just follows a football and all he notices is that it occasionally gets warmer.
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The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long.
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Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.
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I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody.
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Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!
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I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?
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I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.
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The owners of a dog which swallowed a diamond worth £12000 had to wait three days until it re-emerged. With a bit of planning it could have been a nice way to propose.
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Congratulations you're 18!... On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill.
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If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
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I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?
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My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic.
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Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That's probably how David knows that there's a World Cup coming up.
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Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'. But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them 'Gaybos' or 'Bender Badges'.
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I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.
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