Quote

In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.

Frankie Boyle

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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Events
Ceilings
Dies
Oxygen
Funny
Annoying
Mask
Cabin
Drop
Annoy
Event
Cabins
Failure
Masks
Humor
Ceiling

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My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic.
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Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.
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The owners of a dog which swallowed a diamond worth £12000 had to wait three days until it re-emerged. With a bit of planning it could have been a nice way to propose.
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Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
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Why is it that it's okay to call a white person mate yet it's not okay to call a black guy primate?
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The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long.
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I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.
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Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.
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I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?
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If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
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Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment's successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve, and a big sign will up come that says: Level Two.
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Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.
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I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.
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Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.
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It's good they're holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to work out which gunshot is the starting pistol.
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Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them!
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The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?
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A 66-YEAR-OLD woman has become the oldest new mum in Britain after giving birth to a baby boy. I'm amazed she needed to have a caesarean section though, you'd think at 66 she would have needed some masking tape down there just to stop it falling out.
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I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?
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Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.
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