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Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them!
Frankie Boyle
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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
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In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.
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Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.
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Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
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Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?
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What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!
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A 66-YEAR-OLD woman has become the oldest new mum in Britain after giving birth to a baby boy. I'm amazed she needed to have a caesarean section though, you'd think at 66 she would have needed some masking tape down there just to stop it falling out.
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Why is it that it's okay to call a white person mate yet it's not okay to call a black guy primate?
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I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?
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Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.
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If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
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Bisexuals are really attracted to senior Lib Dems - as they are both a man and a great big pussy.
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It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently. I can only imagine they were told that the mission was to rescue a bearded British hostage and he must be brought out alive.
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Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.
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The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long.
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Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment's successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve, and a big sign will up come that says: Level Two.
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The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?
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Does anyone actually think that Beckham knows he's in America? I think he just follows a football and all he notices is that it occasionally gets warmer.
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I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?
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Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.
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