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Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them!

Frankie Boyle

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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Blind
Joined
Humor
Marathon
Help
Ran
Funny
Hasn
Helping
Surprised
Money
Raise
Body
Raises
Jogging
London
Jordan

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I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?
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I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.
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It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently. I can only imagine they were told that the mission was to rescue a bearded British hostage and he must be brought out alive.
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In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.
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Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.
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I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.
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It's good they're holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to work out which gunshot is the starting pistol.
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The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long.
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Why is it that it's okay to call a white person mate yet it's not okay to call a black guy primate?
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The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.
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Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.
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Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?
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I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.
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As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.
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Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment's successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve, and a big sign will up come that says: Level Two.
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Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.
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Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.
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The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?
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If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
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Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.
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