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Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'. But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them 'Gaybos' or 'Bender Badges'.
Frankie Boyle
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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Sound
Honour
Funny
Super
Going
Teenager
Cool
Bender
Humor
Badge
Already
Badges
Bring
Teenagers
Call
Apparently
More quotes by Frankie Boyle
In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.
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As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.
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Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them!
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Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.
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The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?
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When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's sack.
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Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
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Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?
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I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.
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The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.
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Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!
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I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?
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It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently. I can only imagine they were told that the mission was to rescue a bearded British hostage and he must be brought out alive.
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I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.
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Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment's successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve, and a big sign will up come that says: Level Two.
Frankie Boyle
If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
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Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!
Frankie Boyle
I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.
Frankie Boyle
Why is it that it's okay to call a white person mate yet it's not okay to call a black guy primate?
Frankie Boyle
Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.
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