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Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.

Frankie Boyle

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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Come
Soldiers
Country
Soldier
Feel
Killing
Feels
Later
Made
Kill
Years
Movie
Make
America
People
Back

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Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!
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Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.
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If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
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Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
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It's good they're holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to work out which gunshot is the starting pistol.
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As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.
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Bisexuals are really attracted to senior Lib Dems - as they are both a man and a great big pussy.
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A 66-YEAR-OLD woman has become the oldest new mum in Britain after giving birth to a baby boy. I'm amazed she needed to have a caesarean section though, you'd think at 66 she would have needed some masking tape down there just to stop it falling out.
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What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!
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Congratulations you're 18!... On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill.
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Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.
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Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!
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I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.
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Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them!
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Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.
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I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody.
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Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment's successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve, and a big sign will up come that says: Level Two.
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I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?
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Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.
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