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Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.

Frankie Boyle

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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Negatives
Scots
Scotland
Negative
Positive
Two
Right
Make
Positives

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I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.
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A 66-YEAR-OLD woman has become the oldest new mum in Britain after giving birth to a baby boy. I'm amazed she needed to have a caesarean section though, you'd think at 66 she would have needed some masking tape down there just to stop it falling out.
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Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?
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Why is it that it's okay to call a white person mate yet it's not okay to call a black guy primate?
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RyanAir have been getting a hard time because they've launched a £7 flight to New York. Although as always with RyanAir it does land slightly outside of New York. In Dublin.
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It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently. I can only imagine they were told that the mission was to rescue a bearded British hostage and he must be brought out alive.
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Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'. But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them 'Gaybos' or 'Bender Badges'.
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Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment's successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve, and a big sign will up come that says: Level Two.
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Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.
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Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.
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I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody.
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In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.
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The owners of a dog which swallowed a diamond worth £12000 had to wait three days until it re-emerged. With a bit of planning it could have been a nice way to propose.
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The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long.
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Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.
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As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.
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The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?
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Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
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When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's sack.
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Bisexuals are really attracted to senior Lib Dems - as they are both a man and a great big pussy.
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