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Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.

Frankie Boyle

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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Negatives
Scots
Scotland
Negative
Positive
Two
Right
Make
Positives

More quotes by Frankie Boyle

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Why is it that it's okay to call a white person mate yet it's not okay to call a black guy primate?
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Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'. But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them 'Gaybos' or 'Bender Badges'.
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Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
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It's good they're holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to work out which gunshot is the starting pistol.
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It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently. I can only imagine they were told that the mission was to rescue a bearded British hostage and he must be brought out alive.
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I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?
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I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.
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A 66-YEAR-OLD woman has become the oldest new mum in Britain after giving birth to a baby boy. I'm amazed she needed to have a caesarean section though, you'd think at 66 she would have needed some masking tape down there just to stop it falling out.
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Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?
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I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.
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Congratulations you're 18!... On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill.
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My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic.
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I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?
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I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.
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The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.
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Bisexuals are really attracted to senior Lib Dems - as they are both a man and a great big pussy.
Frankie Boyle
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In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.
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Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That's probably how David knows that there's a World Cup coming up.
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Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.
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Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.
Frankie Boyle