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If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
Frankie Boyle
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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
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Potters
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Teenage
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Harry
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Eyesight
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Potter
More quotes by Frankie Boyle
Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That's probably how David knows that there's a World Cup coming up.
Frankie Boyle
Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them!
Frankie Boyle
What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!
Frankie Boyle
I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?
Frankie Boyle
Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!
Frankie Boyle
The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.
Frankie Boyle
Does anyone actually think that Beckham knows he's in America? I think he just follows a football and all he notices is that it occasionally gets warmer.
Frankie Boyle
I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.
Frankie Boyle
Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?
Frankie Boyle
In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.
Frankie Boyle
Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.
Frankie Boyle
It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently. I can only imagine they were told that the mission was to rescue a bearded British hostage and he must be brought out alive.
Frankie Boyle
Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.
Frankie Boyle
Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!
Frankie Boyle
The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long.
Frankie Boyle
I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.
Frankie Boyle
When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's sack.
Frankie Boyle
Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'. But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them 'Gaybos' or 'Bender Badges'.
Frankie Boyle
Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.
Frankie Boyle
I feel sorry for Obama because he's still got to fight the innate racism of Americans. I mean, did you see his first speech, when he got made President and they put all that bullet proof glass in front of him? I think that shows you how racist America still is. Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody.
Frankie Boyle