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If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
Frankie Boyle
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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Funny
Teenage
Broomstick
Need
Harry
Broomsticks
Needs
Magical
Eyesight
Laid
Lad
Cure
Potter
Onto
Potters
Cures
Cling
Humor
Cant
More quotes by Frankie Boyle
I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?
Frankie Boyle
Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.
Frankie Boyle
Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
Frankie Boyle
Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That's probably how David knows that there's a World Cup coming up.
Frankie Boyle
Political correctness has changed everything. People forget that political correctness used to be called spastic gay talk.
Frankie Boyle
I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?
Frankie Boyle
Why is it that it's okay to call a white person mate yet it's not okay to call a black guy primate?
Frankie Boyle
In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.
Frankie Boyle
I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.
Frankie Boyle
Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them!
Frankie Boyle
I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.
Frankie Boyle
RyanAir have been getting a hard time because they've launched a £7 flight to New York. Although as always with RyanAir it does land slightly outside of New York. In Dublin.
Frankie Boyle
The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?
Frankie Boyle
The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe a bit long.
Frankie Boyle
Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.
Frankie Boyle
I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.
Frankie Boyle
Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?
Frankie Boyle
As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.
Frankie Boyle
Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment's successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve, and a big sign will up come that says: Level Two.
Frankie Boyle
What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!
Frankie Boyle