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Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.

Frankie Boyle

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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Think
Brown
Thinking
Bush
Gordon
Thinks
Mild
Weight
Blair
Humor
Tony
Probably
Stroke
Actually
Strokes
Funny
George

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What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!
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When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's sack.
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If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
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In the event of a cabin failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and untangling them will annoy you before you die.
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It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently. I can only imagine they were told that the mission was to rescue a bearded British hostage and he must be brought out alive.
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My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic.
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Scientists have just built the world's biggest supercollider, and they're doing experiments to see what makes up protons. I hope that if the experiment's successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve, and a big sign will up come that says: Level Two.
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Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.
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Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!
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I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.
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Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?
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RyanAir have been getting a hard time because they've launched a £7 flight to New York. Although as always with RyanAir it does land slightly outside of New York. In Dublin.
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The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.
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The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?
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Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That's probably how David knows that there's a World Cup coming up.
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A 66-YEAR-OLD woman has become the oldest new mum in Britain after giving birth to a baby boy. I'm amazed she needed to have a caesarean section though, you'd think at 66 she would have needed some masking tape down there just to stop it falling out.
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I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?
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Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.
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I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?
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Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.
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