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Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.

Frankie Boyle

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Frankie Boyle
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: August 16
Autobiographer
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
Francis Martin Patrick Boyle
Probably
Stroke
Actually
Strokes
Funny
George
Think
Brown
Thinking
Bush
Gordon
Thinks
Mild
Weight
Blair
Humor
Tony

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Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That's probably how David knows that there's a World Cup coming up.
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Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
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Does anyone actually think that Beckham knows he's in America? I think he just follows a football and all he notices is that it occasionally gets warmer.
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I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.
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Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?
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I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?
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Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'. But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them 'Gaybos' or 'Bender Badges'.
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What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!
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RyanAir have been getting a hard time because they've launched a £7 flight to New York. Although as always with RyanAir it does land slightly outside of New York. In Dublin.
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Welcome to Glasgow - the city where we punch people who are on fire.
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Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.
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Congratulations on passing your test! Your HIV positive.
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As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.
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When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's sack.
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Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!
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I would have loved to have had a gay dad. At school, there were always kids saying 'my dad is bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!' So what? My dad will shag your dad..and your dad will enjoy it.
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I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?
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My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic.
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