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I think that if a person doesn't feel cynical then they're out of phase with the 20th century. Being cynical is the only way to deal with modern civilization - you can't just swallow it whole.

Frank Zappa

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Frank Zappa
Age: 52 †
Born: 1940
Born: December 21
Died: 1993
Died: December 4
Actor
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Film Producer
Guitarist
Journalist
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Rock Guitarist
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Baltimore
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Frank Vincent Zappa
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More quotes by Frank Zappa

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Listen honey, would I lie to you to get in your pants?
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Journalism is kind of scary and of it we should be wary.
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All the old history was written for the amusement of the ruling classes. The lower classes couldn't read, and their rulers didn't care about remembering what happened to them.
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I want a hairy little Jewish Princess with a brand new nose, who knows where it goes.
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Did you ever consider that LSD was really one of the most dangerous drugs ever manufactured because the people who took it turned into yuppies?
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If we cannot be free, we can at least be cheap
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I think the anti-smoking business is a yuppie invention-an extension of the concept that we'll always be young, rich, and healthy.
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It would be easier to pay off the national debt overnight than to neutralise the long-range effects of our national stupidity
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Why doncha come on over to the house and I'll show 'em to ya?
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Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be.
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I enjoy irritating the people who enjoy being irritated.
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A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.
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It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.
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So much gets lost in the translation. Even if you sat there listening to it with a microscope, there's no way you're gonna find out what it means.
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I mean, if you want to hurt yourself, go ahead. It's like, if you want to jack off, go ahead, just don't 'spoo' on a public bus or something . Do whatever you want to do. Just don't get it in somebody else's face.
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Scientists believe that the universe is made of hydrogen because they claim it's the most plentiful ingredient. I claim that the most plentiful ingredient is stupidity.
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Guitar playing, as currently understood, has more to do with sports than it does to do with music. It's an Olympic challenge type of situation. The challenges are in the realm of speed, redundancy, choreography, and grooming... ...clouds of educated gnat-notes.
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I think it's really tragic when people get serious about stuff. It's such an absurdity to take anything really seriously ... I make an honest attempt not to take anything seriously: I worked that attitude out about the time I was eighteen, I mean, what does it all mean when you get right down to it, what's the story here? Being alive is so weird.
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If we can't be free at least we can be cheap.
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Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work.
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