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The language and concepts contained herein are guaranteed not to cause eternal torment in the place where the guy with the horns and pointed stick conducts his business

Frank Zappa

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Frank Zappa
Age: 52 †
Born: 1940
Born: December 21
Died: 1993
Died: December 4
Actor
Composer
Film Director
Film Producer
Guitarist
Journalist
Musician
Record Producer
Rock Guitarist
Rock Musician
Screenwriter
Singer
Baltimore
Maryland
Frank Vincent Zappa
Place
Sticks
Conducts
Concepts
Herein
Eternal
Guaranteed
Cause
Horns
Causes
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Guy
Pointed
Language
Torment
Business
Stick

More quotes by Frank Zappa

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Consider for a moment any beauty in the name Ralph.
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Everything on this planet has something to do with music. Music functions in the realm of sculptured air.
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The whole foundation of Christianity is based on the idea that intellectualism is the work of the Devil. Remember the apple on the tree? Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. You eat this apple, you're going to be as smart as God. We can't have that.
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You is what you am, a cow don't make ham.
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I believe that people have a right to decide their own destinies people own themselves. I also believe that, in a democracy, government exists because (and only so long as) individual citizens give it a temporary license to exist, in exchange for a promise that it will behave itself. In a democracy, you own the government. It doesn't own you.
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Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be.
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I think that if you use the so-called strong words you'll get your point across faster and you can save a lot of beating around the bush. Why are people afraid of words? Sometimes the dumbest thing that gets said makes the point for you.
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Find her, blind her, see who designed her. Act like a dummy until you grind her.
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Information doesn't kill you.
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Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.
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You don't think I work 14 hours a day right now?! I mean, I still put in the hours, I still do the work.
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Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die.
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Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.
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Outdoors for me is walking from the car to the ticket desk at the airport
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What something is depends more on when it is than anything else.
Frank Zappa
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It would be easier to pay off the national debt overnight than to neutralise the long-range effects of our national stupidity
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I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.
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Ever try to have a conversation with someone on drugs? It just doesn't work.
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If you want to get together in any exclusive situation and have people love you, fine - but to hang all this desperate sociology on the idea of The Cloud-Guy who has The Big Book, who knows if you've been bad or good - and CARES about any of it - to hang it all on that, folks, is the chimpanzee part of the brain working.
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Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.
Frank Zappa