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You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

Frank Zappa

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Frank Zappa
Age: 52 †
Born: 1940
Born: December 21
Died: 1993
Died: December 4
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Frank Vincent Zappa
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More quotes by Frank Zappa

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I mean, if you want to hurt yourself, go ahead. It's like, if you want to jack off, go ahead, just don't 'spoo' on a public bus or something . Do whatever you want to do. Just don't get it in somebody else's face.
Frank Zappa
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Just because somebody hears something you say, or reads something that you write, doesn't mean you've reached them. With reading comprehension being what it is in the U. S., you can safely toss that one out the window. If you want to judge by the listening habits of people who buy records, the first thing they do is put it on and talk over it.
Frank Zappa
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If we cannot be free, we can at least be cheap
Frank Zappa
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Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be.
Frank Zappa
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Stupidity has a certain charm - ignorance does not.
Frank Zappa
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My English teacher, he's like, he's like Mr. Bu-fu.
Frank Zappa
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Listen honey, would I lie to you to get in your pants?
Frank Zappa
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If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep.
Frank Zappa
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You've got to be digging it while it's happening 'cause it just might be a one shot deal.
Frank Zappa
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Why doncha come on over to the house and I'll show 'em to ya?
Frank Zappa
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I think the anti-smoking business is a yuppie invention-an extension of the concept that we'll always be young, rich, and healthy.
Frank Zappa
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Most people don't bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom.
Frank Zappa
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My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.
Frank Zappa
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Anything played wrong twice in a row is the beginning of an arrangement.
Frank Zappa
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Our criminal institutions are full of creeps like you who do wrong things, and many of them were driven to these crimes by the horrible force called music.
Frank Zappa
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I knew Jimi (Hendrix) and I think that the best thing you could say about Jimi was: there was a person who shouldn't use drugs.
Frank Zappa
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Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them's really right, cause neither of them care.
Frank Zappa
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The creation and destruction of harmonic and 'statistical' tensions is essential to the maintenance of compositional drama. Any composition (or improvisation) which remains consonant and 'regular' throughout is, for me, equivalent to watching a movie with only 'good guys' in it, or eating cottage cheese.
Frank Zappa
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I think that if a person doesn't feel cynical then they're out of phase with the 20th century. Being cynical is the only way to deal with modern civilization - you can't just swallow it whole.
Frank Zappa
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The FCC extorts broadcasters by threatening to take away their licenses for infringements which are usually the result of complaints from an extreme, right wing, tiny bunch of individuals.
Frank Zappa