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Fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man.

Frank Pittman

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Frank Pittman
Age: 77 †
Born: 1935
Born: January 1
Died: 2012
Died: November 24
Psychiatrist
Psychotherapist
the United States of America
Fathering
Parent
Perfect
Something
Men
Perfects

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Men who have been raised violently have every reason to believe it is appropriate for them to control others through violence they feel no compunction over being violent to women, children, and one another.
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Each generation's job is to question what parents accept on faith, to explore possibilities, and adapt the last generation's system of values for a new age.
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. . . in the end, there is nothing a man can do that a woman can't, except be a father.
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We know how powerful our mother was when we were little, but is our wife that powerful to us now? Must we relive our great deed of escape from Mama with every other woman in our life?
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Happy people learn that happiness, like sweat, is a by-product of activity.
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Parents have to get over the idea that their children belong just to them children are a family affair.
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Fathering is the most masculine thing a man can do.
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To insult a friend implies that you respect his masculinity enough to know he can take it without acting like a crybaby. The swapping of insults, like the fighting between brothers, becomes the seal of the male bonding.
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A boy is not free to find a partner of his own as long as he must be the partner to his mother.
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Parents can make us distrust ourselves. To them, we seem always to be works-in-progress.
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When it comes to little girls, God the father has nothing on father, the god. It's an awesome responsibility.
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Fathering makes a man, whatever his standing in the eyes of the world, feel strong and good and important, just as he makes his child feel loved and valued.
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When the masculine mystique is pulling boys and men out into the world to growl manly noises at one another, the only power with astronger pull on the male psyche is maternally induced guilt. The guilt is quite necessary for our moral development, but it is often uncomfortable.
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The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent.
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There are great advantages to seeing yourself as an accident created by amateur parents as they practiced. You then have been left in an imperfect state and the rest is up to you. Only the most pitifully inept child requires perfection from parents.
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Character, not passion keeps marriages together long enough to do their work of raising children into mature, responsible, productive citizens.
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The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent, and it must be equal.
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In considering the ledger equal, understand the greatest gift you have given your parents is the opportunity to raise you. The things a child gets from parents can't compare to the things a parent gets from raising a child. Only by experiencing this can you understand the degree to which children give meaning to parents' lives.
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No one, however powerful and successful, can function as an adult if his parents are not satisfied with him.
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Fidelity is the single most important element in solidly enduring marriages.
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