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Fidelity is the single most important element in solidly enduring marriages.

Frank Pittman

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Frank Pittman
Age: 77 †
Born: 1935
Born: January 1
Died: 2012
Died: November 24
Psychiatrist
Psychotherapist
the United States of America
Marriage
Single
Solidly
Important
Marriages
Enduring
Fidelity
Element
Endure
Elements

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Character, not passion keeps marriages together long enough to do their work of raising children into mature, responsible, productive citizens.
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When the masculine mystique is pulling boys and men out into the world to growl manly noises at one another, the only power with astronger pull on the male psyche is maternally induced guilt. The guilt is quite necessary for our moral development, but it is often uncomfortable.
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. . . in the end, there is nothing a man can do that a woman can't, except be a father.
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A man doesn't have to have all the answers children will teach him how to parent them, and in the process will teach him everything he needs to know about life.
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The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent, and it must be equal.
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Parents can make us distrust ourselves. To them, we seem always to be works-in-progress.
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If fathers who fear fathering and run away from it could only see how little fathering is enough. Mostly, the father just needs to be there.
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No one, however powerful and successful, can function as an adult if his parents are not satisfied with him.
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There are great advantages to seeing yourself as an accident created by amateur parents as they practiced. You then have been left in an imperfect state and the rest is up to you. Only the most pitifully inept child requires perfection from parents.
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Infidelity flows from a belief that women have the power to make you feel like a man if you only find a woman that thinks you're perfect if you can only find a woman that you haven't hurt or disappointed yet.
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A boy is not free to find a partner of his own as long as he must be the partner to his mother.
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Parents have to get over the idea that their children belong just to them children are a family affair.
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Happy people learn that happiness, like sweat, is a by-product of activity.
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For most people, a life lived alone, with passing strangers or passing lovers, is incoherent and ultimately unbearable. Someone must be there to know what we have done for those we love.
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We know how powerful our mother was when we were little, but is our wife that powerful to us now? Must we relive our great deed of escape from Mama with every other woman in our life?
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When it comes to little girls, God the father has nothing on father, the god. It's an awesome responsibility.
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Every boy was supposed to come into the world equipped with a father whose prime function was to be our father and show us how tobe men. He can escape us, but we can never escape him. Present or absent, dead or alive, real or imagined, our father is the main man in our masculinity.
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Love is not something people feel, but something people try to express no matter how they feel.
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The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent.
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Our father has an even more important function than modeling manhood for us. He is also the authority to let us relax the requirements of the masculine model: if our father accepts us, then that declares us masculine enough to join the company of men. We, in effect, have our diploma in masculinity and can go on to develop other skills.
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