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The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent, and it must be equal.

Frank Pittman

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Frank Pittman
Age: 77 †
Born: 1935
Born: January 1
Died: 2012
Died: November 24
Psychiatrist
Psychotherapist
the United States of America
Secret
Understand
Must
Anniversary
Good
Wedding
Permanent
Total
Marriage
Equal

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Our father has an even more important function than modeling manhood for us. He is also the authority to let us relax the requirements of the masculine model: if our father accepts us, then that declares us masculine enough to join the company of men. We, in effect, have our diploma in masculinity and can go on to develop other skills.
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Love is not something people feel, but something people try to express no matter how they feel.
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Fidelity is the single most important element in solidly enduring marriages.
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A man doesn't have to have all the answers children will teach him how to parent them, and in the process will teach him everything he needs to know about life.
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No one, however powerful and successful, can function as an adult if his parents are not satisfied with him.
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A boy is not free to find a partner of his own as long as he must be the partner to his mother.
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There are great advantages to seeing yourself as an accident created by amateur parents as they practiced. You then have been left in an imperfect state and the rest is up to you. Only the most pitifully inept child requires perfection from parents.
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To insult a friend implies that you respect his masculinity enough to know he can take it without acting like a crybaby. The swapping of insults, like the fighting between brothers, becomes the seal of the male bonding.
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The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child-raising is not the child but the parent.
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Fathering makes a man, whatever his standing in the eyes of the world, feel strong and good and important, just as he makes his child feel loved and valued.
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Fathering is the most masculine thing a man can do.
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When the masculine mystique is pulling boys and men out into the world to growl manly noises at one another, the only power with astronger pull on the male psyche is maternally induced guilt. The guilt is quite necessary for our moral development, but it is often uncomfortable.
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Parents have to get over the idea that their children belong just to them children are a family affair.
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. . . in the end, there is nothing a man can do that a woman can't, except be a father.
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When it comes to little girls, God the father has nothing on father, the god. It's an awesome responsibility.
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The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent.
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If fathers who fear fathering and run away from it could only see how little fathering is enough. Mostly, the father just needs to be there.
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In considering the ledger equal, understand the greatest gift you have given your parents is the opportunity to raise you. The things a child gets from parents can't compare to the things a parent gets from raising a child. Only by experiencing this can you understand the degree to which children give meaning to parents' lives.
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Becoming Father the Nurturer rather than just Father the Provider enables a man to fully feel and express his humanity and his masculinity. Fathering is the most masculine thing a man can do.
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Happy people learn that happiness, like sweat, is a by-product of activity.
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