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Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Two
Wells
Well
Irishmen
Pubs
Passings
Passing
Happen
Happens

More quotes by Frank Carson

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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
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Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
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I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
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My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.
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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
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The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
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Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?
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A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
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There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous.
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I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
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What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.
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There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: You can't eat your own food in here. So they swapped sandwiches.
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America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.
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There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.
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I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: We are two hours late Mr Carson. When I asked why, she said: The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it.
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
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My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.
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Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!
Frank Carson