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Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Funny
Irish
Month
List
Abortion
Lists
Months
Humor
Waiting

More quotes by Frank Carson

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America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.
Frank Carson
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Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.
Frank Carson
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Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.
Frank Carson
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
Frank Carson
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I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside made around the corner.
Frank Carson
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What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Frank Carson
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I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was.
Frank Carson
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There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous.
Frank Carson
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I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.
Frank Carson
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My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.
Frank Carson
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
Frank Carson
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I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.
Frank Carson
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My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.
Frank Carson
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I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
Frank Carson
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This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
Frank Carson
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I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
Frank Carson
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The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
Frank Carson
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A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
Frank Carson
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I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: Have you a good memory for faces? I asked why and she said: Because there isn't a mirror up there.
Frank Carson
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There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: You can't eat your own food in here. So they swapped sandwiches.
Frank Carson