Quote

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: What have you brought? He said: I brought a pair of knickers. They asked: What has that got to do with Christmas? He said They're Carol's.

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Brought
Carols
Scotsmen
Asked
Englishman
Irishman
Humor
Englishmen
Knickers
Party
Pair
Tinsel
Funny
Invited
Irishmen
Pairs
Carol
Bags
Hollies
Christmas
Holly
Scotsman

More quotes by Frank Carson

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My wife went into the butchers and said: You've a sheep's head in your window. The butcher said: That's a mirror.
Frank Carson
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Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.
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I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.
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My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.
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Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.
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People in Northern Ireland vote for their church, they don't vote with their heads it is ridiculous.
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There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.
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America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million.
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I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
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Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!
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My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.
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The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
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Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?
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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
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There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous.
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This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
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I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: Have you a good memory for faces? I asked why and she said: Because there isn't a mirror up there.
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I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
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My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.
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A man walks into a pet shop and says: Give me a wasp. The shopkeeper replies: We don't sell wasps. He says: There's one in the window.
Frank Carson