Quote

I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside made around the corner.

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Inside
Funny
Around
Taiwan
Made
Corner
Bought
Corners
Shoes
Humor

More quotes by Frank Carson

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Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.
Frank Carson
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A man walks into a pet shop and says: Give me a wasp. The shopkeeper replies: We don't sell wasps. He says: There's one in the window.
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My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.
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Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
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Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: Have a drink on me. The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.
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This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
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I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.
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My wife went into the butchers and said: You've a sheep's head in your window. The butcher said: That's a mirror.
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A man says to his mate: My wife is a twin. His mate says, How do you tell them apart? The man says: Her brother has a beard.
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Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?
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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
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I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was.
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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
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I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: Have you a good memory for faces? I asked why and she said: Because there isn't a mirror up there.
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A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
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My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
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I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
Frank Carson
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What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Frank Carson