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I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside made around the corner.
Frank Carson
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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Shoes
Humor
Inside
Funny
Around
Taiwan
Made
Corner
Bought
Corners
More quotes by Frank Carson
I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
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The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
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Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.
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I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: It takes four hours. I asked why and he said: It keeps turning off the gas.
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I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: We are two hours late Mr Carson. When I asked why, she said: The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it.
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I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: What have you brought? He said: I brought a pair of knickers. They asked: What has that got to do with Christmas? He said They're Carol's.
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Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
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My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.
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There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: You can't eat your own food in here. So they swapped sandwiches.
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Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?
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This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
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I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
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A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. Oh dear, she says, Not the breathalyser again.
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My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.
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I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.
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Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.
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There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.
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Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
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