Quote

There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous.

Frank Carson

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Frank Carson
Age: 85 †
Born: 1926
Born: June 11
Died: 2012
Died: February 22
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Belfast
Ireland
Hugh Francis Carson
Men
Ice
Ridiculous
Sitting
Asked
Room
Humor
Rooms
Titanic
Funny
Dining

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I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: Have you a good memory for faces? I asked why and she said: Because there isn't a mirror up there.
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A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.
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I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside made around the corner.
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Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?
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My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.
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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: What have you brought? He said: I brought a pair of knickers. They asked: What has that got to do with Christmas? He said They're Carol's.
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I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.
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Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!
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I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
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Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.
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Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.
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I'm not really a homosexual. I just help them out when they're busy.
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This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.
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